In other news, the sky is blue and birds are pretty. Shall we state the obvious? This is something we’ve been saying all along Spencer. There. It’s been said. But since he’s finally admitted it….so the story goes…Spencer Pratt has issued a public apology to soon-to-be-ex-wife Heidi Montag, admitting that he “let her down” and caused her undue “pain and suffering.” According to People.com, Pratt offered the following mea culpa:
“Divorce can be a trying, draining, and emotionally devastating experience for all involved. Despite these hardships, most individuals manage to conduct themselves with dignity and maturity. I did not – I failed spectacularly. I horribly embarrassed the one person that meant the world to me. For my outrageous and infantile behavior, I offer Heidi my most sincere apologies.”That’s sweet and everything, Spencer, but it begs two pressing questions: 1.) If you are now straying from infantile behavior and are hoping to be dignified and mature, why are you offering an apology via such an insanely public forum? Why not contact her through her lawyer to offer your sincerest sorries, like every other failing husband in America. How about writing an actual pen-to-paper letter, spraying it with Embrace Chaos cologne and sealing it with a kiss direct from your fuzzy goatbeardy face? And b.) Where’s OUR apology, Spencer Pratt? We have not suffered inconsiderably, you know! We’ve had to deal with the daily ins and outs of your trashy boring self and your trashy boring wife being boring and trashy. So feel free to apologize to us whenever for your spectacular failures as they relate to the public and also immediately drop off the face of the earth (and out of the tabloids) forevermore. See? That wasn’t so bad! Off you go, Spencer. Forgiven as the wind!
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