Report: Lindsay Lohan Tries, Fails to Break Out of Rehab to Grab a Soda....

Whether this is true or not, we have no idea, but it was reported by Perez and Radar, and is too good not to pass along. Sometimes a girl just needs her Coke fix!
Sources say Lindsay Lohan attempted to break out of the Betty Ford Center, where her troubled a$$ is seeking treatment for drug abuse, and escape into the wild.
All in the name of a good, old-fashioned caffeinated soft drink.

FIEND: An addict will go to great lengths. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The alleged actress and an accomplice supposedly hoped to hit up a soda machine at a nearby medical center, but the diabolical plan was foiled ... why, you ask?
The friend's clothing got caught on the fence and they couldn't move. That's either the funniest celebrity news item in awhile, or really creative BS by Radar.
Hey, what's that on the fence? Oh, it's just Lindsay Lohan!
A source explains: "Lindsay and her co-conspirator were forced to give it up and flag down a volunteer, who was crossing the center's grounds on a golf cart."
"The pair was safely returned, decaffeinated, to their hall, where they were the center of a process meeting over what they had just done, or tried to do."
LOL. That makes for some classic imagery. A lot more fun to picture than her in counseling meetings blaming Michael Lohan for her issues, true as that is.